I don’t always do things the fastest. It can take me quite a while to feel comfortable with a situation to be relaxed enough to be apart of it. I’m like the slow moving turtle.. I’ll eventually get there, just don’t push!
So, here I am on Fet Life. I am making friends, talking to people and doing a lot of reading…
I HUGE amount of reading.
So much reading that I was starting to get overwhelmed by the amount of different information out there.
This person says to do things one way.. this person says its another way.. no one agrees and here I am trying to figure out where I stand in this whole lifestyle market. When no once can even seem to agree on what that market is!
It can be very frustrating!
So, finally a dear friend starts to get on me.. to get off the computer and get into the real scene. To come out to the local dungeon and actually meet people…
I know.. what a concept!
So, me being me, I took my time.. waited and made a ton of excuses why I shouldn’t take that next step. Really I was scared. Its one thing to be online and read all sorts of information. It’s entirely another to actually take that step out and make it a part of your life.
I felt like Indiana Jones taking the step of faith..
So, finally I agreed. More because I was running out of excuses of why I shouldn’t go.. well, good excuses anyway.
So, I went to my local dungeon’s Halloween Party. I dressed up like a naughty school girl and held my breath.
I got there and everyone was so nice.. but I was just smiling, waiting for my friend to show up.. my safety line.
When she got there we went into the club together.
It was filled with so many new sights, new sounds.. so many new sensations that I was on overload.
Its one thing to talk about screening.. to read about the different equipment..to read peoples thoughts on how it feels, what it means to them… it’s entirely another to watch a scene..
Hear the crack of the whip
See the interaction between the Top and the bottom,, the energy flowing between them.. the trust.. the care..
I sat and just watched.. amazed.. a little scared at some of the intensity I was watching.. but thrilled as my “reading” came to life in front of me.
This wasn’t role play..this wasn’t some fictional writing.. this was real people, living the life they loved and letting go..
I wasn’t sure how.. or when.. but, I was so excited at the possibilities.. of taking those first steps.. of letting go of my fears and my pre convinced notions of how one should live, what one should do and how one should behave.
I smiled and hugged my dear friend. I thanked her for pushing me out of my comfort zone and helping me take my first steps..
I look back at this moment and smile. I can so clearly see the markers that lit up my path.. the friends that were placed at important points to guide me and help me find my way. How each step led to a new path, a new direction.
I was so very lucky that my early years into the life style were so healthy and strong. I am so lucky that the people that I found my way too were open to helping a newbie like me…
“The universe was indeed unfolding at it should….”